Every year, without fail, the holiday season arrives and immediately demands that we all participate in some form of gift exchange. Whether it’s a Secret Santa, White Elephant, Favorite Things parties, or whatever new chaotic trend someone found on TikTok, you are bound to participate in a holiday exchange. And without fail, every year I find myself thinking the exact same thing, I really don’t like any of this.
Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy the holiday season, the lights, cookies, and having time off from school, but the moment someone brings up the idea of a gift exchange, excitement is not my first emotion. There’s something stressful about being forced to buy a “thoughtful” gift for someone whose entire personality I know only through the couple of seconds I have spoken to them. Sometimes you can participate in gift exchanges with people you really know, but most of the time, well for me at least, I really don’t know much about everyone who partakes in the gift exchange.
“I really don’t enjoy gift exchanges because I get scared if they’re not grateful for my gift and the fact they have to open it in front of you,” said junior Jeremiah Dubarry.
Gift exchanges are a lot of pressure and if you’re a forgetful person then you might get a last minute gift, now you might be nervous and think that someone may not appreciate their gift.
Or even the opposite, people may feel bad for getting a gift that is extravagant when they did not give an expensive gift themselves. Dubarry gives an example from a gift exchange he participated in, “Sometimes people who get me gifts feel bad because I like to give big gifts and if they didn’t, they just end up feeling guilty.”
Still, not everyone sees gift exchanges as stressful. When I surveyed the junior class, several students wrote that they actually look forward to them. Out of the 80 juniors who responded, 67% said they genuinely enjoy participating in gift exchanges. Another 7.5% said “kinda, but with only people they know well” and the remaining 25% admitted they actively dislike them.
The numbers made one thing clear. There has to be a reason that students truly enjoy gift exchanges. Curious about what makes these exchanges enjoyable for others, I spoke with Jonathan Chica, a senior, who has nothing but positive things to say about the tradition.
“I like giving gifts in general but I also do like receiving gifts,” said Chica.
He also brought up something many students seem to agree on, the importance of setting a fair price range. In fact, 75.3% of my junior class agreed that some limits make exchanges feel more balanced.
As Chica put it, “I feel like there should be a minimum to what you spend on gifts, because if other people buy something cheap then it’s really not that fun.”
His perspective shows that for some students, the excitement of giving and receiving gifts works best when everyone’s playing by the same rules. At the end of the day, even though most students say they enjoy gift exchanges, that doesn’t mean everyone walks away smiling. My survey showed that 25% of the 80 students surveyed dislike gift exchanges, which means if ten kids participate, at least two of them leave feeling stressed, disappointed, or just wishing they didn’t have to do it at all.
As an 11th grader who falls into that group, it’s comforting to know I’m not alone, but it also makes me think we could use a little more empathy during the holidays. Whether it’s someone who loves the thrill of swapping gifts or dreads it every year fearing they’re not going to get a meaningful gift. Honestly, so many of us walk away unhappy, maybe it’s time we stop treating gift exchanges like a requirement or “fun” activity to do with friends over the holidays, and start admitting that not everyone wants to participate or even enjoy gift exchanges.
